The Rev. Clare Fischer-Davies
St. Martin's Church
October 17, 2010
Proper 24 C
“When I first met God, our relationship was a lot like dating.”
If you read enews this week, you know that I was not impressed with the stewardship teaching I heard at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco last Sunday. But I did read something that I thought was great – fresh and original and engaging. The bulletin contained a little essay by a member of the congregation named Scott Turner, and he's the one who compares the early days of his relationship with God to dating.
He continues: “There was a big beginning attraction. I started calling ever day. We went out on weekends, getting tingly and close. Like dating, the money-side was relatively modest: a couple of coffees here, a movie there, dinner out. At a certain point, however, a cross-roads came up. I had to commit, or this relationship was going nowhere. It had to go from dating to becoming family.”
It had to go from dating to becoming family. I think that's the best metaphor I've ever heard for what it means to make a decision to make a financial pledge to a congregation. Mr. Turner goes on: “Major commitment anxiety struck! Among other things, there was the money issue: the Old Testament requires 10% giving on income. The New Testament goes way beyond that and calls us to offer God everything we've got. I called God “God”, but did I really want to give him that big a role in my life? The thought “I can't make it on any less than I've got now” resonated in my mind – in a very whiny, very panicky voice.”
It's our stewardship time of year: you're getting mailings and reminders and encouragement to make a pledge for 2011. Some of that is entirely practical – if we don't have any idea what kind of income we're going to have, we can't put together a sensible and faithful budget. If we don't get pledges, we have no way of knowing whether it's reasonable to call a second priest to our staff. So yes – we need you to pledge so we can make some decisions about our ministry for the year to come.
But much, much more important than what pledging does for us, is what financial commitment means to your relationship with God and with this community. Are we just dating, or is there a chance we can have a more committed relationship?
Jesus tells a quirky little story about a judge, who is neither a good nor a kind judge, and a widow who constantly presents herself to that judge with a plea that he decide a case in her favor. The judge finally gets so sick of being bothered by this woman, that he basically says – I'm going to give her what she wants so she'll get off my back. And Jesus says, if the unjust judge responds to that persistent woman, than how much more will God respond to faithful and persevering prayer?
The woman is absolutely committed to her quest for justice. She turns up day after day to ask for what she wants. She is tenacious and she has the emotional stamina to keep asking and asking even when there's no indication that she's ever going to receive what she's asking for. Neither the judge nor the widow come off looking like particularly attractive personalities, but the tenacity and the stamina that the woman displays is exactly what every committed relationship demands of us. We all know, that for our long term relationships – whether with spouses, or partners or children or siblings – we all know that good relationships take persistence, stamina and commitment from everyone.
St. Martin's is no different. You need, and you expect persistence and stamina and commitment from me. You need, and you expect persistence and stamina and commitment from the Wardens and the Vestry. But here's the thing – the wardens and the vestry and I need your persistence and stamina and commitment. We need it from all of you – because it's a part of what it means to be in a meaningful and growing relationship.
Last year we had 176 pledges, that's up 5 from the 171 pledges we had in 2009. Our goal for 2011 is to have 190 – and that's a goal that is well within our grasp. We retain pledges pretty well – we always lose some to people moving, or seeking a spiritual home elsewhere, but mostly people who pledge one year, will pledge the next. The hardest nut to crack is to persuade those who have never pledged to make that leap of faith.
Scott Turner goes on in his essay: “In a rare burst of maturity, I made the leap of faith. I offered God everything. So far, God's only keeping 10 to 15% of my income – and giving back the rest. This feels really good – not in a self-congratulatory “aren't I sacrificial” way, but in the way of throwing in your lot completely with a loved one who has thrown completely in with you. It's the joy – and the beauty – of a mutually committed, nothing-held-back relationship.”
The parable of the unjust judge and the persistent widow has a comic feel – there's something amusing in the mental pictures it conjures for me. But there's nothing funny or comic in the story of Jacob's mysterious wrestling match on the banks of the Jabbok river
Here is a quick recap of Jacob's story. He is the son of Isaac, who is the son of Abraham. Jacob is a twin, born just minutes after his brother Esau, who – because he is the first born, will inherit everything. Esau is older and he's bigger, but Jacob has the brains and he manages to cheat Esau out of his birthright, and he even cheats his elderly and blind father into giving Jacob the patriarchal blessing that was Esau's by right. Needless to say, Jacob has to leave town. And he makes his own way and his own fortune, still using his wits and never hesitating to manipulate and take advantage of those whose wits aren't as quick.
But sometimes, even the Jacobs of the world get to mid life and take stock of who they are. Jacob wants to reconcile with Esau, but he knows that Esau would be completely within his rights to kill him on sight. Jacob packs up his whole household and heads back to his homeland. He hears that Esau is coming out to meet him with an army. He sends his household entourage on across the river, bearing presents for Esau that Jacob hopes might appease his brother's righteous anger.
Jacob is left alone until a mysterious stranger meets him on that riverbank and wrestles with him until daybreak. We are meant to understand that this is much more than a dream – the strange opponent injures Jacob's hip, so that he will walk with a limp the rest of his life. Does Jacob wrestle with an angel? Does he wrestle with God's own self? Does he wrestle with his own life story and with his fear and guilt and sadness?
This is a story about deep intimacy and dedication. You've seen high school or college wrestling matches where athletes grapple with each other for 3 minute periods. Imagine being locked in that kind of intense struggle with a strange opponent, imagine being that physically entwined with someone who is just as strong and just as determined as you are – and then imagine being locked in that struggle – not for three minutes – but through the long, dark hours of the night. It demands tenacity, stamina and commitment.
Jacob limps away from that encounter, marked forever by his opponent – yet carrying with him the conviction that somehow in that struggle, God has blessed him. And indeed, when Jacob presents himself to Esau the next day, ready to bear the brunt of his brother's anger, Esau embraces him – weeping with joy.
There is something more here for you at St. Martin's. It's fine just to date – we welcome strangers and visitors and everyone who wants to sit near the door and slip out just as soon as worship is over. You may want to date for a long time. But I want all of you to know that there is more here for you and that we always interested in a committed relationship.
This parish can be a place that helps you wrestle with hard questions, that helps you persevere in prayer, that helps you become more faithful, that helps you grow in the knowledge and love of God, that helps you engage intentionally in your own spiritual journey. This parish can have a richer effect on your life than just Sunday mornings. Making a financial commitment to St. Martin's is certainly not the only way to have a rich spiritual life, but we do put our treasure where our heart is. If you want your heart to dwell more deeply with God, then the ancient discipline of stewardship is one place to start.
Every time we celebrate the Eucharist together, we proclaim the story of God's nothing-held-back, full commitment to us – we proclaim the story of how God becomes human in Jesus, and as a human, lives and dies as one of us. God holds nothing back, gives everything to us. And God invites us to give ourselves, to hold nothing back, to imitate that full commitment.
Dating is fun and exciting and ultimately, safe. It's harder and more demanding and a lot scarier to throw your lot in with someone else and say “I'm in this for the long haul. I'm committed. I want to give all that I am and all that I have to this relationship.”
A pledge card is one place to start. And if pledging is already part of your spiritual life – then think about taking your giving to the next level. You won't be disappointed. You will find that deeper relationship and commitment lead to deeper satisfaction. You will be more invested in St. Martin's and St. Martin's will know you better, and thus be more invested in you.
At the end of his essay, Scott Turner says “real love is expensive.”
It is indeed. Real love demands tenacity, and stamina and commitment. But real love also revels in abundance. Juliet says to Romeo, “My bounty is as boundless as the sea. The more I give to thee, the more I have.” Jesus keeps telling us that when we give up our lives is just when we find them. Giving, in the paradox of the cross, is really what makes it possible for us to receive.
I'd like to take our relationship to the next level. Are you ready?
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